Wave of Fear
by Ashia Yifei 07
Summary: She knows she has to stay away as early as possible. But Natsume won't allow that. Not without her knowing why she can't do that. WILL UNDERGO REVISION


**Ok..my first oneshot of NatsuMikan..uhm..,sort of freeing myself from updating my 2 stories..Seconds of Rejection and Thread of Affliction..but I'll update them till the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice ( how i wish, but never..ouch!)**

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" I suddenly felt like..you're leaving me. I'm scared to be alone"

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Being early once in a week, four times in a month, 48 times in a year, Mikan entered their ever strident classroom. The prevalent scene never changed at all. Hotaru in her seat inventing some sort of stuffs, Nanoko and Anna chattering about a show they really want, Ruka sitting beside Natsume playing with his bunny, Sumire together with her defined fansclub of Natsume and Ruka was again there drooling over them, trying to seek for a chance for them to be noticed by the two especially this guy who is as cold as an ice melted.

Mikan sighed, how was she supposed to have her way through that throng blocking her seat? This may start another fight which she never intended to do especially if the reason is very superficial, Natsume. Whenever the girls see her approaching, they suddenly flare up like Mikan is the most notorious girl they've been hunting for. But good thing, she can still manage to sit without being strangled, slapped..or being pulled by hair, that is for one condition - not to even cast a look onto Natsume while they are there present..in front of their eyes. And to conform with that condition, she just simply leaned on the table then cover her head like she'll take a nap.

And yeah,,she always holds her breath while doing that. She can only revive from being suffocated when she starts hearing the familiar voice of their sensei..her favorite, Narumi. And that signals the end of the insanity of the girls surrounding her. They will utterly leave and there she'll finally acknowledge that she's still existing..and that existents are supposed to breathe.

Now, she again underwent that same situation only this time is a bit peculiar from her previous experiences. As soon as she sat, Natsume looked at her for the first time, unlike before he usually fixed his eyes on the mangas he love to read. And she could feel that the air has just turned. From the corners of her eyes, she also glanced at Natsume hoping the girls wouldn't notice.

" Ohayou..," Natsume greeted with an expression Mikan couldn't understand if it was a chaste smile or it is somewhat stained with malice..yeah..his smirk.

The next thing she knew, the girls screamed at the top of their lungs like there was an earthquake or any catastrophe signifying the end of the whole world, the end of their world. All their classmates witnessed the next event.

" You..how dare you?" the girls taunted her while raising their index fingers at her with their eyes suddenly turning bloody red.

Mikan could just have a vacillating smile, her face being creased.

" M…m…me?" clarifying their question with a lump froming in her throat.

" Yes!" and then they almost succeeded in their plans of killing her like strangling her, slapping her..pulling her hair, kicking her, throwing her to the floor, if not for Narumi warning them. I doubt if they would still be able to push through with their evil plan when Hotaru is always there around though sometimes undisturbed, who's gonna save her with her clock acting like a bird and will poke their foreheads. Ruka is also there. He can just call them, then that would deviate their attention from Mikan and of course Natsume is only there beside her, who can burn their hairs right away at one time but that is, if Natsume would care to do it for Mikan.

" Girls? What are you doing?" he sounded very strict just like Jinno.

The girls robotically turn their head to meet the Narumi's glare and off they proceeded to their seats acting like nothing happened at all.

" Good. Mikan-chan, are you okay?" he then inquired her who was currently catching her breath.

Mikan could just nod.

" Well, then..class begins!" and there came the substitute teacher of Narumi with the hair growth alice, again pitying himself for doing the tasks of Narumi.

And then the usual day begins.

When Mikan finally reached her settling point, she heard Natsume chuckling quietly. She looked at him.

" Tch. That teacher is really wrong timing," he remarked and he looked sullen.

" Eh?" obviously confused.

Suddenly a lighting came connecting her thoughts.

" Natsume! You mean you greeted me on purpose?" she gave him a defiant stare ready for a battle.

" Of course, what were you expecting?" he replied plainly.

Ok, so she was again fooled by this ruthless jerk. She should have known. With that, she just stayed quiet, it's no point arguing with him.

" _Geez, he really wants me dead.."_ Mikan thought in misery.

Anyway, it's not yet her time. Natsume will only be disappointed anytime he attempts to kill her in a safe way and that's the positive side, a thought that deserves a smile no a laugh. And with that, she laughed her heart out loud and even stood.

The class suddenly focused on her feeling scared even Natsume was kinda being bothered. But that is for two distinctive reasons.

" Sakura..," a frog croaking.

" What do you think are you doing in my class? Laughing for no good reason?" Jinno asked her being accused.

Then, Mikan halted and petrified, she looked at Jinno. Wew, another door of death. And again, Natsume was behind this.

So this is it, the class was scared because they were having their math class when Milkan burst out laughing, they knew it, she would be punished again by this monster teacher. On the other hand, Natsume was being bothered not because Jinno was there, he was half-unaware that Jinno was already there starting their Math class because he was teasing Mikan. He was bothered because Mikan might have gone lunatic. What kind of person would be doing something like that, laughing boisterously amidst their most haunted class? Based on his field of knowledge, only those with an impaired thinking, like Mikan, a harebrained, could be doing such acts.

" Ah..nothing..no sense..," she stammered.

" Nothing means a punishment Sakura..answer this equation," and then he pointed his stick towards the board. And there written was an equation with too much _x and y factors._

"Bu….but.." she was planning to make Jinno blame Natsume instead of her..but..

" No Buts.." Jinno glared at her.

And off she dashed to the board and picked the chalk..and proceeded to thinking. Thinking though she really couldn't think of a way to solve that hell equation. By just seeing those x and y, heck,,she wanted to collapse and be hospitalized to have a reason to have a sick leave from her class. And her heart was pounding very hard like it could knock over everything even her chest part that might get wrecked.

Ok..she gave up.

" Ok..tomorrow..you'll have a 100-item quiz..you have to get 90 or higher..if not..," Jinno paused for a while making her even more frightened like she was to be swallowed as a whole.

" You will have to clean the classroom as well as the hallway…for one whole week..and also that Tower Clock…alone," the frog croaked again.

Mikan stood there with her jaw dropped.

She started walking lamely towards her seat and glowering at Natsume. It was all his fault.

The bell rang signaling the end of that exhausting day for Mikan. She quickly packed her things up and caught up with Hotaru who was already in the way of boarding her scooter.

" Ne, hotaru..can we go home together?" she jovially inquired.

Hotaru knew that even if she would say no..Mikan would ignore it completely and would still tail her..so why care to answer?

Seeing that Hotaru gave no response and proceeded boarding her scooter, she knew..it was a silent yes. And so they both sauntered the hallway slowly. Mikan ignited a small talk with her.

" Ne, hotaru…can I ask you something?"

" And if I say I don't want..will you heed?" she questioned back.

Mikan heaved out a sigh. When talking to Hotaru she should be direct to the point.

" Hotaru..you're aware of the punishment, right? Uhm..i'm just thinking if you could…," she was hesitating to ask her and instead played with her fingers.

Hotaru, precocious as she is..continued the sentence for her.

" If I could teach you?" she threw her a look.

Mikan was very delighted. Hotaru knew it and even bothered to at least offer her ( that's how she took it). Now, she wouldn't have any more problem.

"Yes! Ok..what time should I go to your room?" she questioned her in enchantment.

Geez..she was really expectant.

" I just asked, I didn't offer a help, and besides I'll have lots of things to do..lots of inventions to make..need a lot of money, speaking of money..please pay your debts on time or else I'll charge you additional fee," she faced her calmly like there was nothing wrong with what she said. Every word of it was wide of the mark..for Mikan.

" Oh..hotaru..what should I do now?" she pouted. And then Natsume's face traversed the river of her thoughts.

" _In this case, then I should ask him for help..anyway..it's his fault," _and then she smiled gently when she was supposed to simper since she had a not so good intention of asking Natsume's help. Deep inside..her heart was smiling because she could get closer to Natsume. She has been very attached to him since they were 11 years old. Even if Natsume is sometimes an imp, she doesn't grow tired of staying near him.

" Why don't you ask Hyuuga?" she somehow tantalized her.

Mikan blushed a bit and pretended to snap.

"Hell..i would rather ask the dog than him,"

" Anyway..that's good,"

Mikan then yanked her head to face her. What did she mean by good?

Hotaru continued.

" We all know that he's in the dangerous class, and that he has the fourth type of alice..his life shortens, and though it's hard to admit..in no time..his life might reach its demise. He has the attitude and feelings that no one can ever decipher. In other words, even if you try to know him better, you wouldn't know if it would be something worth it, the worst result you can find is to get hurt. So, it's better not to stay close to him, Mikan," she explained with a tinge of anxiety. Anxiety, because she knew how much Mikan feels happy whenever she's with Natsume though she tends to put a false façade. Still Mikan has to start breaking that attachment, that closeness she enjoys to feel to protect herself from hurting.

Mikan then had a downfall. Yes, hotaru is right. She should have known. She knows the fact very well that Natsume is someone you shouldn't get close with because he's different from them, his world can never be merged with her world.

Hotaru noticed it and decided to leave her for a while.

" Ok..i should be going now, good luck," she didn't wait for her reply. She just didn't want to hear the agonizing voice of Mikan. It would badly affect her, too.

Mikan after learning her new lesson, changed her plans of going to Natsume. It is a must for her to secede from Natsume.

She started seeking for her friends. First, she went to Yuu's room but she found out that he was also busy with some businesses involving the plans of the student body for the campus and that he was busy thinking how to execute their plans. Next, Anna and Nanoko..though she knew they're not that well-versed in mathematics, she believes that cooperation would do a great help but she found out that the two went shopping in the central town and would be back by night, they would be tired by then..no time for Mikan. Koko..was next but she just found him sleeping peacefully inside his room since she managed to peek inside because the door was unlocked. She didn't want to disturb him. Mochu..well, he was with Sumire..trying to court her but Sumire is really vehement…very fastidious. Now her senpais, Tsubasa and Misaki. When she was about to ask them, she heard Tsubasa asking Misaki to go out. And she was afraid she would just get in their way. So she decided to shut up.

Doing these non-necessities took her up to 8 pm. In the end, she figured out, she had to be alone. Oh..she just wasted her time.

Oh,..wait she missed someone. Ruka! She was about to jump with overflowing happiness but she remembered Ruka might tell her situation to Natsume. Oh..and then what? Lots of confliction will be happening. So, she stood still unsure of what was next to be done.

She got her notebook and her Math book and started calculating but still, she gained nothing. She spent one hour reading, analyzing each equation then computing..still she always reached the dead-end.

And then she thought that perhaps if she would get out and have some fresh air then at the same time review outside, she could study better. So she did.

As soon as she stepped her foot outside the door of the building, she rummaged for a bench with a post light. And she luckily found it. She proceeded there and sat. She prepared herself and her things. Somehow, it was sort of working. She could understand a bit…better than none.

Suddenly, a shadow was cast upon her face..like something or someone was blocking the light from her right where the post light was standing.

She noticed that the shadow had a messy hair..kinda spiky. And with an…earring.

Oh..no…how should she react? How should she move?

" Oi..what are you doing?" he enquired her..half irritated and half hurt.

" Uhmm…nothing..," she stuttered. It was obvious she was studying yet Natsume was still asking her. What was he trying to aim at?

" Usually, when you have difficulty in that subject, you're always asking for my help…because you said we are partners," he stated making Mikan guessed what he was trying to say.

Yes, it's definitely true that Mikan has had the habit of having Natsume tutor her..even if Natsume was always forced. She even scolded him when Natsume refused to help her at the worst time Mikan decided to ask for his help. She always clarified, they are still partners, and it is Natsume's duty to help her in times of her needs. After successive insisting, Natsume gives in, no, he has always wanted to help her, it's just that..he loves to make her suffer.

So this change really alarmed him. Mikan would never try not to ask for his help when the problem is about this subject unless she has a deep-rooted reason..reasonable enough for him to agree with her.

Mikan found herself fumbling for words in the darkness. Time couldn't afford to be wasted even a second in arguments like this. She needed to run away.

And then she grabbed her things at once and she tried to scurry away but Natsume caught her arm making her things slipped out of her arms.

Tch. Natsume needed to talk to her, he was barely losing grip of her.

" Are you trying to ignore me?" he was demanding for an abrupt answer.

Okay. Mikan had to face this. She had to confront him now.

" You know what..Natsume you should be thanking me..can't you see..i'm letting you have more time to rest. I'm giving you enough space because I know you've been very agitated whenever I'm there, whenever I ask for your help, so don't make this worse," and then she covered her face secretly wiping away the tears from her eyes.

" You're just giving me a bigger problem by drifting away," he told her softly. He has many problems..like it would no longer end..like his life would be the first to end instead of those innumerable problems but Mikan, though not capable of solving them for him, eases all those problems..making them light for Natsume. So,,why does she have to do this?

" Natsume..i don't want to be a burden to someone whose life is already a burden," uh-oh..that hurts she knew but she just had to say it.

" Is that what you think?" obviously hurt by her words. He never thought Mikan thinks of him that way..in a pitiful way.

Now..they were both speechless..mutually hurting each other emotionally is something that cannot be obliterated that easily by simply saying sorry.

She wanted to apologize but she couldn't let her pride down.

" Come, I'll help you with that easy math," he told calmly like nothing happened.

He picked up Mikan's things and grabbed her hand then he dragged her. Mikan wanted to jerk her hand away but she considered it as an amendment to what she said. And it felt good to be like that..to actually hold the hand of someone very dear to you.

Without having the strength to pull her hand back, Natsume managed to drag her to his room. Take note: it's not the drag like in an evil way.

" Sit," he commanded as he pointed towards the chair facing his study table.

" Your notebook..and book..open them," he added.

" But-," she snapped trying to escape that moment.

" No buts!" Natsume pulled her made her sit on the chair and snatched her reading materials.

" Don't you ever talk except if you have questions, whether they're stupid or sensible..you can only do two things: Listen carefully while facing the book or Listen carefully while facing me..understand?" he again ordered her like a newly-hired professor at a popular university.

Hell..she better choose the first option. How could she even face him when their faces are just inches apart? She was not even comfortable with that kind of position. Good thing, Natsume got another chair and put it beside Mikan with a slight distance and started discussing.

He caught Mikan preoccupied.

" Said you better listen, I'll only be saying this once," he warned her with those piercing eyes.

They spent 5 hours in that tutorial session. Natsume would be talking too fast like his student was one with a high-level intellectual capacity. Naturally, Mikan wouldn't be able to contain them all in just a matter of seconds. Tendency, she would ask again and again. Natsume, dragging out his candle of patience, answered again and again, too. Worst, repeat them all.

And then he said, he'll only be saying it once, huh?

When they reached the last word of the last page, Mikan then leaned on the table and finally slept. Did she even think of thanking Natsume? Natsume was supposed to be the first one to rest. How ungrateful!

Natsume couldn't wake her up. He was planning to say, " Who told you that you could sleep here?"

But then..by just seeing Mikan's sleeping face soothed his mind and so he made his way to his bed, having no more energy to have a quick fight with this girl.

" _Can't she even say, thank you?"_

The next day, Mikan woke up at 6:30 in the morning. Her class would start at seven. She didn't even have her uniform there…not yet even had her bath..and breakfast. She quickly searched for Natsume in the room but then she only found a note on the table saying,

" _Good luck to your punishment"_

" Mou, that guy, he didn't even wake me!"

Instead of complaining, she quickly ran to her room and prepared for school.

Luckily, she was able to make it. She then took her seat beside Natsume and scorned at her. Natsume just avoided her expression and continued reading his latest manga.

The class started and went on without any interruption. After class, Jinno called Mikan's attention.

" Hope, you're not having Alzheimer's disease Sakura, you have a 90-item quiz today,"

" Eh? Only 90? You said 100?"

" Good, I'm just checking if your memory still serves you right, then if you're ready..here's the test paper and start!"

Actually, he had memory lapse. He really thought it was 90 items ONLY. Of course, he wouldn't admit it.

Mikan closed her eyes and prayed first. The moment she opened them, from the back, Natsume said as he passed by her,

" You can do it," though with his famous nonchalant tone. Yet with an additional…with that genuine smile.

Mikan then just nod at him..like a sign of reassurance.

While she was taking it, all she could remember was Natsume. Then, miraculously, she would get the answers! She was inspired!

She finished the test 20 minutes ahead of time. Jinno checked it and had a jaw-dropped.

Mikan took a look at her test paper, her score was written in red ink enclosed with a circle.

**95**

Mikan then grabbed the paper and ran to rummage for Natsume. As usual, she found him under the Sakura tree.

" Natsume..look!" she showed him the paper as she was panting hard.

" Nice," he said dryly.

" You won't congratulate me?" changing her cheerful tone into a wanna-pick-a-fight-tone.

" Congratulations, then," he said literally to prevent Mikan from starting a fight. But his tone showed, he was not that delighted.

He stood, ready to go when Mikan suddenly realized something.

" _That time..i just…slept..without_…," remembering what she had done. She then approached Natsume and hugged him.

" Natsume, thank you! I owe you so much. I'm sorry for being rude and for thinking you'll leave me..that's the reason why I decided not to seek for your help…but then you still came, helped and stayed," she said hugging him tighter.

Natsume was kinda stunned especially when she said that "you'll leave me". How could he possibly do that? Even in her dreams…that will never happen!

He then hugged back and caressed her hair.

" You're really an idiot. An idiot like you is the only one who thinks of being left behind by the one who loves you the most,"

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" I've been alone for such a long time, and never would I want you to experience the agony it brings..so never would I leave you"

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**What do you think? Haha..out of randomness..please leave a review. Thanks for reading and sorry again for grammar.**


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